Monday, October 28, 2013

hindsight is 20/20

A few years ago I started reading through my old journals and blog posts. I wanted to remember what I used to care about and I think I was secretly hoping that past-Amanda had said something present-Amanda would be able to hold onto. I've been both challenged and embarrassed by these old scribblings.

My oldest journal entry is dated June 24, 2004. That was two days after I graduated from high school. My grandmother gave it to me as a graduation gift, and inside the front cover she wrote:
To keep a journal of your first year of college! I'm very proud of you!
She passed away four months after gifting me that journal and I didn't see her again, so it holds a precious place in my heart for the inscription alone. In that first entry I talked about how important journaling was to me. I have transcribed copies of my great-grandmother's diaries (starting in high school in 1915 and running through college, graduate school, and her early married years) and they are the most amazing thing to me. I can see so much of myself in her, even though she lived 100 years before me. It's her legacy that I'm such an avid journaler. And I'm so grateful! Because I can look at this entry from 2004 and see my gratitude in God's provision for funding for my first year of college, my excitement over the classes I'd be starting in a few months, and a relationship with a friend which was breaking but has since been restored.

I started blogging once I got to that much anticipated college and my very first post published to the world wide web on August 23, 2005 at the very onset of my sophomore year. I admitted I had no idea what I would write about but that I saw blogging as a "complimentary ticket" into the inner workings of my life. In my second entry, I wrote:
 It is already apparent who is a Republican and who is a Democrat. I hoped we could just be a class. I guess I should have anticipated this is "Politics and Public Policy" after all. Oh well. *sigh* I just hope that I don't have to defend myself. I hate doing that. I can. My argument is fully sound. But I still don't like to do it. And that, folks, is why I'll never run for office myself.
I was describing having to post on our class blog (looking back, that was pretty cutting edge) and that I thought everybody's responses (including my own) were already showing their partisan stripes. A political science degree and a law degree under my belt, and I still would rather not have to argue or defend my opinions. I can, rather expertly. I just don't want to.

The realization that fewer things change than we think has been the greatest gift of this experiment so far. Once a month or so I'll give you a glimpse of what I'm seeing in the rearview mirror through these endeavors.

Do you chronicle your life? When was the last time you took a look at things in hindsight?


  1. That is so cool that you have journaled or blogged for all these years! What a great way to look back and see what you were thinking all of those years ago. I am good about journaling while traveling, but not much beyond that. I do have 5 years of blog posts to look back on, though, as I started blogging the summer before my final year so grad school in 2008. I like to go back through posts from time to time, but sometimes it's hard to re-read the thoughts of different times of my life.

  2. i've journaled off and on for years and it's always hilarious to look back on. i think my college years are the most entertaining. then again when i was in 2nd grade i started one too and it was usually about not getting along with my sister, new shoes or cute boys. oh the good ole days, ha.

  3. I think it's a little amazing that you have your great-grandmother's diaries! It be an awesome piece of history for anyone to read, but know that she's actually from your past makes it pretty irreplaceable, at least in my opinion.


Use your words.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...